Thursday, October 18, 2012

Waxperts - You don't have to go as far as Brazil, just take a trip to Dun Laoghaire


So when we received an email from Waxperts asking us did we want to try a wax I jumped at the opportunity - I thought HA this will be an opportunity for Sile to try an experiment. When I said to Sile "it's your turn", I was answered with short and decisive "pift". You can read into a lot from such a word and I grasped that she mean "No feckin' way, not in a million years - you said we would do it so you get it done". See she is quite decisive without any messing around.

When I was mailing the lovely Ellen, owner of Waxperts, I asked what would they like me to try and she said their most popular treatment was the Brazilian, so I said I would love to try it. Now to be honest with you my first thought was "I need to lose weight for this" which is kinda my first thought for most things (eating ice cream, going shopping, a Wednesday) so I was concentrating on that more than what I was letting myself in for. I emailed Ellen and said "I need to lose weight for this and oh by the way what does the Brazilian remove?" Ellen kindly replied of course you don't need to lose weight that they are concentrating on removing all the body hair and not the body and with the Brazilian all the hair underneath on the lips/labia and bum is removed leaving a small amount of hair in the front of the bikini line.
WHAT'S THAT? All I could think of was I HAVE HAIR ON MY BUM??? What the hell? Don't you just hate to find new body hair to worry about? I'll let you all absorb that for a moment. BUM HAIR.
Now as we know bikini hair removal can be a quite controversial subject matter. We could argue that society is forcing us to remove our bikini hair, turning us into identikit porn stars. We could even argue that evolution gave us hair there for a reason. I have one word that will argue with evolution and that word is "platypus". Come on, if evolution gave us a platypus, the most ridiculous of all creatures, it could have made a few other mistakes along the way.

The reality for me is I have had bikini waxes before, I have even had laser hair removal on my bikini line (FYI it doesn't remove all the hair but reduces it by about 80%) and I keep the area tidy with a hedge trimmer bikini trimmer. So for me the reason I haven't gotten anything further than a basic bikini is embarrassment (I need to lose weight for it) and the fact that I don't really like people touching me. When people find out how much I love makeup and beauty they wonder why I didn't get a job working in that area - the reality of the situation is I don't really like to touch people and the idea of waxing people would give me heebie-jeebies.

Between the newly acquired knowledge that I had bum hair and the fact that somebody was going to remove hair WITH WAX from a sensitive area of my body, I was more than a little anxious. While talking to my hairdresser she said that she had Brazilians before and to quote her directly "they are like smear tests - once you have had it done once you're grand". This conversation left me with two overwhelming thoughts 1. do I perhaps have inappropriate conversations with my hairdresser and 2. HOLY CRAP last time I had a smear I had to take a Valium (cause as I said before I don't like to be touched) and I was still told that I needed to relax.

On a beautiful bright sunny Friday afternoon I took myself off to Dun Laoghaire to Waxperts and as I walked in I knew I was someplace special - the decor was pure luxury but not intimidating (think pin up girl pictures, chaise longue and gilded mirrors) and they had Halloween decorations up. I love Halloween.

When I went into the room I noticed that there was a TV on the wall and settled down to watch Fair City (I don't actually watch Fair City normally). I think this small feature alone is genius, I was totally distracted (who needs Valium when you have Fair City?). When you lie on the couch you're in a kind of relaxed meditation position with the soles of your feet against each other (your legs are not flying in the air in an undignified manner). Fair City or not my nerves took over and as I was being waxed I asked about 101 questions. Of course I wanted to know what it was like to have to wax lady bits all day. My lovely waxer explained that when she was training she excelled at waxing, she was good at it and when working for a salon that concentrates on waxing they don't pay much attention to the body (so I didn't need to lose weight after all) or the lady bits (she was wearing gloves the whole time - not woolly gloves though cause that would have been weird), they just want to remove the hair.
While I was nattering away one thought began to overwhelm me "This doesn't really hurt, I must be triple hard or perhaps I am transitioning into a superhero where small things like waxing cause no pain". Of course these thoughts went on for a while especially when I felt the wax on more sensitive areas, when I was asked was I OK I said "I think I must have a high pain threshold" (I thought it best not to mention my superhero theory just yet). I was told this is the secret of Waxperts. Remember bikini waxes of old where you would walk around like John Wayne afterwards? Waxperts treatments are completely different. They put a soothing oil onto the skin before they wax it, this treatment ensures that the skin is not dragged when the wax strip is removed and that the wax just removes hair and not half of your skin, in addition to this the wax is very thick almost a rubber like consistency, it also works at a lower temperature and after the strips are removed cooling cotton pads are applied to the area with another treatment oil.
Immediately after the strips were removed I didn't really feel any pain and even as I walked around (I had to get an ice cream after all it's the law when in Dun Laoghaire) I was grand. I was left smooth and clean with a kind of ronnie at the top of my bikini area. The thing with the Brazilian that I couldn't get over was how clean I felt - I know perhaps I should have felt sexy or whatever but I felt clean and neat (especially during girly moments). I honestly could not get over how easy the treatment was, even doing the bum hair (yeah I am still talking about that) you just hug your legs to your stomach and then turn over. I was due to go back and get a top up for my holidays (which I should be on as you're reading this) but I didn't actually need to because the hair was still gone.
I would definitely get this treatment done again. Not only is it less embarrassing than I thought but also due to their expertise Waxperts wax doesn't hurt that much. Of course for me Dun Laoghaire is a little out of the way but luckily Waxperts also train other salons in their wondrous ways (check out their Facebook page (here) for other salons that use Waxperts). Go and visit Waxperts for all your waxing needs - they are not called experts for nothing.
P.S. when I told himself that I was getting a Brazilian done for the blog, he was horrified - and I was a little shocked, aren't men supposed to be obsessed with lady hair? It turns out that he thought I was going to be putting before and after pictures on the blog ...... come on we are not that kinda blog, but just in case you're curious...

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  1. OMG freaking hilarious! LOVED this post and thanks for being so open (& amusing) about the whole thing!

    Btw, what a gorgeous salon!!

    Nic x

  2. Funniest post I've ever read! A ronnie on your hoo haa? Your before and after photos? Fair City instead of Valium? Pure comedy gold :)

  3. Love the Dogma reference with the platypus ;-)
    Bikini waxing that doesn't hurt... I'm sold!

  4. hahahahah love the hair free pussy in your photo

  5. hahahahahaha... I'm still laughing at the before and after pictures!! :) That was a great post, very funny.. wish I lived in/near dublin!! :(

  6. So funny!!!!! great post, ill give them a try too hate to be touched haha

  7. Bwahahahaha, Mags you are hilarious, loved this post! Also before&after photos? Genius!hehe xx

  8. Bahahaha ah brilliant. Mags you're hilarious. Great post. And good work Waxperts!

  9. Sweet Jebus Mags, I'm not the better for reading this. Guffawing at the office desk like a loon then slapping at the keyboard when people are coming to see what's up. I've now mascara smeared sideways up my face from the laughter.

    Absolutely brilliant!!

  10. oh mags, thank god work is quiet today cos i literally howled with tears rolling down my face. brilliant :)

  11. HILARIOUS! Thank you for the before and after pics too teeheeheehee....

  12. Brilliant post again Mags - so funny!! Those photos are the business!

  13. Mags, I read this while sitting next to my brother and he kept asking what was so funny as I was laughing out loud with my tummy in bits. Thanks for the welcome distraction from this week's drama, you are brilliant. P.S. Absolutely LOVED the before and after pics.

  14. Brilliant post, this should be printed out and hung in each beauty salon! Very well written!


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